Two years ago, shortly after our two new kids had moved in at the ages of 5 and 6, I would have laughed if someone had told me I'd be writing articles to help other families homeschool their traumatized kids. Fortunately, we stumbled into information from the Post Institute for Family Centered Therapy and began to absorb it as quickly as we could. Because of that, and the prayers and incredible presence of our family and friends, our house is now a place of peace.
Home schooling my three kids is one of the greatest joys and most undeniable challenges I've ever faced. My kids are 11, 9, and 8 and my biggest trial lies in teaching not only to their intellectual ages, but also to their emotional ages. I am certainly no expert, having home schooled for only five years, but I am hoping to give some good suggestions about establishing routines while still remaining flexible, teaching to a child's developmental needs without sacrificing academic content, and some curriculum choices we have made in our family that seem to facilitate the type of learning many special needs kids thrive with.
Let's get started talking about routines. I find that adoptive parents faced with extreme behaviors often do one of two things. They either set up such structure in their childrens' lives that their kids are stifled and stressed out, or they have no boundaries or expectations at all, choosing to excuse every behavior but never re-training their children in appropriate ways of expression. Neither path is helpful and when you home school there is no where to hide- you are responsible for their education and you have to have a plan.
Watch what your children naturally do during most days. If your kids like to get up early, make sure you are in bed at night early enough to be up before them! If your child is a late riser, don't force them to get up at the crack of dawn and be grumpy the whole morning (ruining your morning and theirs). These are tweeks you can make as a homeschooling parent--you don't have to follow the public school schedule. And remember, you have plenty of time to train them for the "real world". For now, your goal is to have a positive relationship with them first, and then to educate them.
Teaching to a child's emotional level when it may be changing on a daily basis is one of the hardest things to deal with in traumatized kids and one of the best reasons to homeschool them. Our family found the most effective way to approach this challenge is through unit study. Mom gets to plan one lesson for all the kids in the family to participate in and when your unruly child loses interest, let him play with legos while you move on with the others. Why beat a dead horse anyway? What child is going to learn once their attention span has been spent? We use Konos but there are others, like My Father's World that are also good choices. If you want more information about specifics of what we use, you can sign up for my free mini-course below.
In a broad sense, my kids know what to expect of the day when they wake up. We have a framework that includes morning routines, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, rest time, and bedtime routines. These basics are important to keep in place when at all possible. As for other activities and events, we can mix things up sometimes and make basic parts of the day longer or shorter according to what is going on around the house. Our routines aren't rigid but there is a flow to our day.
In our family, schooling all year has been the ticket to me relaxing so the kids can have the space to heal and grow. We aren't concerned if we have a few "meltdown" days and get nothing done, because we have a whole year to make things work! Knowing my children well enough to jump in with learning when they're ready, and back off when they're not, means they are ready to learn the days I do push them. I am focused mostly on building relationship, character, and teaching them to be good readers. Everything else will fall into place as their brains have time to catch up.
Home schooling my three kids is one of the greatest joys and most undeniable challenges I've ever faced. My kids are 11, 9, and 8 and my biggest trial lies in teaching not only to their intellectual ages, but also to their emotional ages. I am certainly no expert, having home schooled for only five years, but I am hoping to give some good suggestions about establishing routines while still remaining flexible, teaching to a child's developmental needs without sacrificing academic content, and some curriculum choices we have made in our family that seem to facilitate the type of learning many special needs kids thrive with.
Let's get started talking about routines. I find that adoptive parents faced with extreme behaviors often do one of two things. They either set up such structure in their childrens' lives that their kids are stifled and stressed out, or they have no boundaries or expectations at all, choosing to excuse every behavior but never re-training their children in appropriate ways of expression. Neither path is helpful and when you home school there is no where to hide- you are responsible for their education and you have to have a plan.
Watch what your children naturally do during most days. If your kids like to get up early, make sure you are in bed at night early enough to be up before them! If your child is a late riser, don't force them to get up at the crack of dawn and be grumpy the whole morning (ruining your morning and theirs). These are tweeks you can make as a homeschooling parent--you don't have to follow the public school schedule. And remember, you have plenty of time to train them for the "real world". For now, your goal is to have a positive relationship with them first, and then to educate them.
Teaching to a child's emotional level when it may be changing on a daily basis is one of the hardest things to deal with in traumatized kids and one of the best reasons to homeschool them. Our family found the most effective way to approach this challenge is through unit study. Mom gets to plan one lesson for all the kids in the family to participate in and when your unruly child loses interest, let him play with legos while you move on with the others. Why beat a dead horse anyway? What child is going to learn once their attention span has been spent? We use Konos but there are others, like My Father's World that are also good choices. If you want more information about specifics of what we use, you can sign up for my free mini-course below.
In a broad sense, my kids know what to expect of the day when they wake up. We have a framework that includes morning routines, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, rest time, and bedtime routines. These basics are important to keep in place when at all possible. As for other activities and events, we can mix things up sometimes and make basic parts of the day longer or shorter according to what is going on around the house. Our routines aren't rigid but there is a flow to our day.
In our family, schooling all year has been the ticket to me relaxing so the kids can have the space to heal and grow. We aren't concerned if we have a few "meltdown" days and get nothing done, because we have a whole year to make things work! Knowing my children well enough to jump in with learning when they're ready, and back off when they're not, means they are ready to learn the days I do push them. I am focused mostly on building relationship, character, and teaching them to be good readers. Everything else will fall into place as their brains have time to catch up.
About the Author:
Sandra Nardoni is the home educating, adoptive parent to three children. She also does private consultation with homeschool families educating adopted children. If you need help on how to homeschool your traumatized kids click on the blue text to get a free 5 part mini-course. Click here to get your own unique version of this article with free reprint rights.
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