You've finally left your quarrelsome siblings behind and find yourself sharing a college dorm room with a total stranger. Is it better or worse? That's the million dollar question. While you have no baggage with the newcomer, you could find yourselves incompatible in some areas. The best thing to do is sit down soon after you arrive and work out some key details:
1. How much sleep do you get on most nights? More specifically, do you go to bed late or get up before dawn? If you find that you differ in sleep patterns, decide on a common time for the room activity to die down (or begin in the case of the morning). Remember, common rooms are available elsewhere in the dorm to meet with friends or study. The person who needs the sleep should be able to expect a quiet room.
2. Identify community property. What did you bring to college that you are willing to share and what is strictly hands off? Go over everything: music, movies, office supplies, toiletries, food and even clothes. You'd be surprised what some people thing is okay to share. Clear the air early in the relationship.
3. Is it okay to have a sleep-over guest? You might have a significant other who visits from time to time and your roommate might be planning to have high school buddies come in for special events. How do you both feel about letting others crash in your dorm?
4. Pig sty or immaculate? Hopefully, you both agree to live somewhere in the middle of a mess and a cold, sterile environment. But if one of you is to the extreme, it could pose problems. Talk about how to divide household duties such as taking the trash to the dumpster and keeping the floors relatively clean. Decide where you'll each put dirty laundry to avoid it taking up valuable floor space. Talk it out!
5. There are simple solutions at your neighborhood superstore. Maybe you just need some storage bins for under each twin bed or a mirror on top of your desk to avoid bathroom jams. Maybe the two of you should go shop together to get some ideas on how to get the most from your small square footage.
If all else fails, go for moderation. After you've discussed problem areas with each other and given it some time to work, things should go smoothly. If not, don't air your grievances with those around you; take them to your Resident Assistant instead. Conflict solving is part of their job and maybe they can smooth things out for you. If you still don't think you and your roommate can co-exist, go to the housing office at your university and ask for a reassignment for one of you. This is an important time for both of you and you need to be able to focus on other things besides domestic problems. Living with someone outside of the family isn't easy, but it can be fun if it's with the right person.
1. How much sleep do you get on most nights? More specifically, do you go to bed late or get up before dawn? If you find that you differ in sleep patterns, decide on a common time for the room activity to die down (or begin in the case of the morning). Remember, common rooms are available elsewhere in the dorm to meet with friends or study. The person who needs the sleep should be able to expect a quiet room.
2. Identify community property. What did you bring to college that you are willing to share and what is strictly hands off? Go over everything: music, movies, office supplies, toiletries, food and even clothes. You'd be surprised what some people thing is okay to share. Clear the air early in the relationship.
3. Is it okay to have a sleep-over guest? You might have a significant other who visits from time to time and your roommate might be planning to have high school buddies come in for special events. How do you both feel about letting others crash in your dorm?
4. Pig sty or immaculate? Hopefully, you both agree to live somewhere in the middle of a mess and a cold, sterile environment. But if one of you is to the extreme, it could pose problems. Talk about how to divide household duties such as taking the trash to the dumpster and keeping the floors relatively clean. Decide where you'll each put dirty laundry to avoid it taking up valuable floor space. Talk it out!
5. There are simple solutions at your neighborhood superstore. Maybe you just need some storage bins for under each twin bed or a mirror on top of your desk to avoid bathroom jams. Maybe the two of you should go shop together to get some ideas on how to get the most from your small square footage.
If all else fails, go for moderation. After you've discussed problem areas with each other and given it some time to work, things should go smoothly. If not, don't air your grievances with those around you; take them to your Resident Assistant instead. Conflict solving is part of their job and maybe they can smooth things out for you. If you still don't think you and your roommate can co-exist, go to the housing office at your university and ask for a reassignment for one of you. This is an important time for both of you and you need to be able to focus on other things besides domestic problems. Living with someone outside of the family isn't easy, but it can be fun if it's with the right person.
About the Author:
Jim Kline is a college counselor currently working on an online degree in educational administrator.
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